Avoid the Envy Trap


Our constant exposure to curated images and success stories on social media can breed envy in a world dominated by technology and information. As we scroll through seemingly flawless pictures and watch online videos showcasing others’ seemingly perfect lives, it’s natural for envy to seep in. Our brains are trained to desire what we see, even if it’s a distorted reality. Pursuing these illusions can damage our confidence, self-esteem, and personal progress.

The prevalence of false narratives, filtered images, and edited videos exacerbates this phenomenon. Comparing ourselves to these ideals can lead to resentment, insecurity, and unhealthy competition. Have you found yourself in this position? Caught in the grip of envy, where your joy is stifled by a desire for what others possess?

I, too, have found myself ensnared in the comparison trap, yielding to envy and diminishing my own blessings because they didn’t align with someone else’s achievements. However, this doesn’t deem us inherently flawed; it merely accentuates our humanity. Gratefully, awareness has served as my guiding light, steering me away from the pitfalls of comparison and envy and leading me to embrace the uniqueness of my life experiences. Even if, through a worldly lens, they may not shine as brightly or seem as lucrative as someone else’s.

Here’s a valuable lesson I’ve learned: Coveting someone else’s treasures won’t bring me any closer to manifesting my own. In fact, this distraction hinders my progress toward the prosperity aligned with my purpose, position, and mission. However, the more authentic I am in living the life that is for me, the more prosperous I will be. This prosperity may not solely be monetary gain. Still, it can manifest in inner peace, joy, confidence, and genuine gratitude for what I have, reducing the longing for what others possess.

If you’ve been grappling with envy lately, consider these “3 Reasons Why Envy is Harmful”:

Reason 1 | Mental and Social Harm: Envy can take a toll on mental health, contributing to lower life satisfaction, self-esteem, and higher rates of depression and anxiety. Envying others’ accomplishments can distort our perception, turning successful individuals into perceived enemies. This toxic mindset can lead to condemnation, criticism, and demonization, ultimately posing a threat to social harmony.

Reason 2 | Distraction and Hindrance: Envy consumes mental energy and time, diverting focus away from personal dreams and aspirations. Instead of fixating on others’ achievements, redirecting this energy toward personal goals fosters a more fulfilling and productive life. Watching from the sidelines will never bring you the success you desire.

Reason 3 | Damaging Relationships: Envy can strain friendships, fostering competition rather than collaboration. Imagine being friends with someone envious of you. How do you picture that friendship turning out? In relationships where envy rears its ugly head, there’s often displeasure and resentment toward the wins of a friend. Here are five examples of how it can show up:

  1. Silent Disapproval: Envious individuals may express disapproval or withhold positive reactions when their friend or loved one shares good news. The lack of enthusiasm or support can be a subtle indication of envy.
  2. Minimization of Achievements: Envious people might downplay the accomplishments of others. They may respond to good news with statements like, “What’s the big deal? I could do that too.” This minimization undermines the significance of the person’s achievements.
  3. Discouragement: Envious individuals may discourage their friends or loved ones from pursuing their dreams and goals. This can include subtle remarks, negative comments, or undermining the importance of their aspirations.
  4. Competitive Behavior: Envy can fuel a competitive dynamic in relationships. Instead of collaborating and celebrating each other’s successes, there’s a sense of rivalry, with the envious person viewing the other’s achievements as a threat.
  5. Withdrawal during Success: In an envious relationship, the person experiencing envy might distance themselves or “ghost” the other person during a season of success. They may struggle to be genuinely happy for the person’s achievements.

It’s important to note that envy can be subtle, and individuals may not always be aware of their feelings. Creating awareness and open communication within relationships can help address comparison and jealousy while fostering a healthier and more supportive dynamic. However, in this age of social media, there are instances where envy and derogatory commentary may originate from or be directed toward people one doesn’t even know.

In such cases, it’s crucial to practice digital mindfulness and resilience. If you find yourself experiencing envy, acknowledge it, and make intentional efforts to shift the tide by focusing on your own strides toward success instead of fixating on someone else’s outcomes. Unless, of course, you are gleaning valuable success strategies from their accomplishments. However, if the sole reason is to peer into their window and desire what they have, consider closing the shades and nurturing the prosperity of your own reality — a healthier and self-empowering strategy.

On the receiving end of social media envy, sometimes no response is the best response, and a digital hiatus can be the most beneficial. If that’s not possible due to business obligations, resist the urge to engage with trolls who lurk on digital platforms with the sole purpose of tearing others down and spreading hate-filled comments for their amusement. Instead, utilize social media for its intended purpose, take care of your business, and give yourself the peace of not dwelling on every negative comment that comes your way. While it may be challenging, focus on the positive aspects rather than succumbing to the temptation to magnify the negative.

Remember, your online space is yours to curate, and prioritizing your well-being over external opinions is an act of self-love and resilience.

Until the next chapter of this journey of being the best version of ourselves…LIVE authentically, LOVE deeply, and LEAD unapologetically.

Sisterly love, Alicia.


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