We can’t understand who we are or who we are destined to be, without briefly looking in the rearview mirror to gauge our position and purpose on the road of life.
This Friday is my birthday, and I’ve been doing some reflecting.
Over the years, I have realized that who I am, is housed within my story. It’s within the memorable and nuanced experiences. All of me is packaged within those pages, and each experience has moved me from one decision to the next. Although my choices were not always wise, they were designed to get me here…to this place of restoration and understanding.
You see, the road of purpose is not paved with ease and clear direction.
It challenges us to change, explore, uncover, figure out, grow, and heal through the storms. My path has taught me to see beyond my circumstances and progress…in faith. It has taught me to embrace myself as perfectly imperfect, and to witness my flaws with grace.
My beautiful story is marked by chapters of pain, uncertainty, fear, anxiety, change, growth, and healing. Every chapter is a source of my strength.
I used to wish that my story was different. That my father had been a part of my life, that my mother had made better choices, and that I had made wise decisions sooner. And then I realized that one changed chapter or character, would have led me to a different destination. Any subtle change may have altered the powerful and resilient woman that I am today. Maybe I would have been better off. But I love who I am, and I wouldn’t want to chance it.
For many years, I felt powerless to change the unfolding of my story. I allowed my past to cast shadows over my future and it took a toll on me.
Fear and anxiety took the center stage during my childhood and young adult years and I used high-achievement to mask it. No one would have guessed, that behind my good grades was a brokenness that I didn’t know how to fix. So I achieved more, until my facade of “togetherness,” started to crack under the pressure.
I was accomplishing at high levels, the life of my dreams was becoming a reality, and yet, I was unfulfilled. I earned my Masters degree and became a licensed clinical counselor. I was helping people heal, and still lacked confidence.
I met the man of my dreams, got married, had financial stability, was raising two beautiful daughters, experienced more career success, and still struggled with anxiety and an overall sense of discontent.
My high-achieving brain just couldn’t figure it out. Why wasn’t the achievement leading me to happiness?
After years of mind, body, and soul work…I started to understand.
I was so busy trying to achieve that I didn’t allow myself time to heal. I thought that I could accomplish my way out of childhood trauma, abandonment issues, and emotional turmoil. I tried to educate my way past the wounds of not knowing my father. I believed that if I achieved enough, no one would notice the mental and emotional scars. Not even me.
The truth is, there is no escaping the reality of mental and emotional wounds.
There is no bypassing the work that it takes to heal. That work has nothing to do with your education, career, or financial status. It has everything to do with time, energy, and support as you process, understand, and restore your mental and emotional wellness
Once you have healed, the journey is not complete. Maintaining your mental fitness is intentional and requires active participation. It is a lifestyle, not a destination.
As a fellow powerful woman and leader, I have faced and overcome the struggle to find balance between achieving AND being a good steward of my mental and emotional health. There was a time that my accomplishments outshined my confidence. A time when my peace was low and my anxiety was high. I was successful on the outside and miserable on the inside.
The good news is, we don’t have to stay in that place. We can outlast the storms, maintain our mental fitness, while succeeding in life, career and relationships.
I founded Live Like HER in order to educate, equip, and empower women leaders to become better stewards of their mental and emotional health. This mission is magnified by my desire to see more women in positions of power and walking confidently in their natural ability to lead.
My role as The Mental Fitness Coach, is to collaborate with you to identify your strengths, create a blueprint for a leadership lifestyle of mental fitness, and empower you to take action on practices that have a ripple effect on how you lead, how you live, and how you love.
It is time for powerful women around the world to retire the cape of fake invincibility, and embrace the reality of our mental and emotional needs.
By doing so, we elevate our leadership and set an example for other women on a mission to Live Like HER (Healthy-Empowered-Resilient).
If you are a woman leader that is a champion on the inside but struggling to be a champion on the inside, consider a conversation with me, about whether mental fitness coaching is for you. Send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org or schedule a consult here on the website.
Enjoy your holiday season!